You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
