Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
