Nicole vs. Life
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
