I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
