I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
