So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
