mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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