Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
