I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm having to shit out rocks
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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