You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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