I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
