do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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