Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
