Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
