i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
