Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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