i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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