even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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