did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
