he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
