you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
