he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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