quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
