He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
