Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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