Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
