Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
