I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
