Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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