How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
