Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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