Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
