So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
