Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
