I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
