my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
you inspire me to be a worse person
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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