Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
