The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
