Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
