did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
