and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Small penises have feelings too.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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