she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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