Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
