do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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