OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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