he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
