Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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