like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
