One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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