i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
