Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
