she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
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