I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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