If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
