She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm lost and stupid without you.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
