Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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