Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
